member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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