He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
