Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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