Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
