first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
