Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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