he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
