her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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