i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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