Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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