onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
