Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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