In the future we'll all be gay
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
