He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
