Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
