I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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