Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
