I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
