just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
