You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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