he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
