and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
