Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
