I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
