so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
