It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
