I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize