new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
