I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
