youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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