They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
