when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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