TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
