PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
