he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize