paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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