I must be too annoying 4 u.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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