Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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