i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
