I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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