I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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