Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Watching her eat just hurts me
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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