Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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