i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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