I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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