a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
