I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
