hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
