We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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