you guys were way drunker than both of me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
