discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
