too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize