Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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