did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
