ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
