Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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