I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
