We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
