she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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