I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
