i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
